Dear Sungmin

Dear Sungmin,

I cannot say how much hardship you are facing now... How hard it must've been to release that news, especially because you love ELF as well... It must have been difficult to decide to post that, knowing that it will hurt your popularity too.

But I hope you know, ELF are called this for a reason. Our friendship will be everlasting. Our friendship will last through your marriage, and the other members' marriages in the future.

We will not let go of the hand you held tightly. We will hold onto you until you are sick of us. We will support you because we want you to be happy.

I am heartbroken as I am writing this, but I feel that because it was surprising. I understand you have a life outside Super Junior, and a life outside ELF's control.

So best wishes, our love. As long as you are happy, we will be too. Stay strong and face the world proudly. Cherish your love.

Always an ELF,
우리는 언제나 확실히 머무르고 있을 거예요,
Ann.

From Super Junior's "No Other":
너 같은 사람 또 없어 주위를 둘러봐도 그저 그렇던 걸어디서 찾니 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 마음 너같이 좋은 선물너무 다행이야 애써 너를 지켜줄 그 사람이 바로 나라서어디서 찾니 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 웃는 그런 최고로 행복한 놈

Super Show 5 Manila

It's been a year.

a year since I last posted here.

a year since I last ranted online about Suju.

a year since I last had the time to type online.

a year since I last thought about writing to them....

But it's been more than a year...

since I became a fan...

since I started recognizing them...

since I started memorizing their songs...

since I started loving them...

I am only one of their millions of fans. As a part of "The world's biggest fanclub," there is not a time when I wonder how miniscule my effect is on them. They will never know me. They will never recognize me. They will never even know my name.

But that is what fandom is. You love but never expect to be loved back. Not as yourself anyway... just as a fan.

So why am I sounding so emo?

I have just had my dream of watching them perform come true and all... Even though I did watch them after being awake for about 36 hours... so I didn't get to feel the ecstasy that my friends expected after a month of my  rants regarding the concert...

I should be happy,right?

They even called the ELF as "baby..."

But there are fan accounts... about another fandom... that a fangirl wore a shirt for that fandom in SJ's concert.

It is more than upsetting. Respect is what we need for each other. I respect your choice of wearing that. Maybe the fan only wanted to show unity between that fandom and ELF. Maybe.

But I hope that she cheered for the SJ members hard while wearing that shirt. Because it hurt SJ. Because it is still different to cheer for someone else during their concert.

Because it was Heechul's first concert back... If he had been the one to see that, and he might've, it could have made him quite iffy....

To our beloved Super Junior,

True ELF will not leave you. We promised not to cheat, right? We promised to be everlasting... We promised love, and true love is eternal..

Through times when you feel disheartened, think of us. Think of those who have stayed with you from the start, and those who are with you now... Although others' hearts may falter, true ELF will not.

You have gone through so much and will go through so much more... This has not been and will not be the hardest. You have decades ahead of you... ELF will watch you and protect you, as you have done for us, all the way.

Believe in us, as we believe in you. 

우리는 언제나 확실히 머무르고 있을 거예요. (I hope I got that right!)

Love always and forever, 

Ann

Dear Leeteuk

I started a blogspot where I wrote letters to Super Junior... But that was last year, and, as always, my goal to post everyday was not realized... I'm a very lazy person, and it's only when I'm driven by emotions that I actually accomplish things. But right now, I just wish to post a letter to this wonderful leader that has taken over thousands, and maybe millions of hearts...

Dear Leeteuk-ssi,
Right now you're preparing to go to the military, if you're not already there... Maybe you're crying, or maybe your tears have already dried up. I am miles away and wouldn't know until much later, so I guess it's useless to keep thinking about it...

Your wishes...
To find a girl that would wait for you for two years...? Lots of girls are waiting for you...You just need to choose one...
That ELF will wait for you for two years...? ELF prom15e to be with you, til the end of time... (Personally, I waited for 20 years to get to know you and the rest of SJ, I don't think 2 years would matter..) Love is eternal...
That Sexy, Free & Single will reach 50million views...? I'm sorry, we will do our best to reach it ASAP! ELF will never give up, because you never gave up even when other people did not believe in you..

I was terrified when it was spread to the news that you would have to go to the military this year... I barely knew you guys and you're already diminishing in number... I only knew Heechul (in the KBS show 'Secret') without knowing he was a member of Super Junior, although I got the feeling that he was an idol... But I promise, I will always be an ELF... As I always say, "I only love once, so I give my all..."

Millions of ELF are waiting for you, dear Teukie Angel... I hope you never forget that... We will wait for you even if you enjoy yourself in the military and decide to extend your stay there... ^-^ But I hope you don't do that!! 

Love always,
This obsessive, crazy weird, wistful, sad fangirl

Sooooo random, right? I never cease to hope that maybe one day they will accidentally click on my blog and read it... Hehe... But whoever reads this, please visit my fanfiction site: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/98546 ^-^ Kamsahamnida~!

Oh!! And watch this music video (Click F5 after it finishes), please! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWIkiI_UmeE

(c) Also posted in my LJ account m_ann1130

Sexy, Free and Single

Sexy, Free and Single- 6th jib- Leeteuk

Dear Leeteuk-ssi,

Saengil chukahamnida~

Chukahae on the 6th jib!! ♥ [Ryeowook-ssi's dancing seems to be improving a lot! ^-^]

Be mine~? Hehe... Because you're single and ready to mingle~ ^-^

Love,

this awkward, random, giddy fan

Dear Super Junior,

It's only you...

who can make me giddy in a second... (I can't help but squeal when I see your pictures, MVs, and teasers..)

who can make me change my cheapskate identity... (I want to buy your album, no matter that it costs twice my books' prices!)

who can make me decide in an instant... (What I want to buy, what I want to do)

who can make me step out of my "shell" and talk to others... (Because ELFs are very easy to talk to..)

who can make me count the minutes... (4 minutes to your album release and Leeteuk-ssi's birthday!)

who can make me know what real unconditional love towards somebody else is...

but most of all,

it's only YOU..

who will stay in my heart always...

I may love others...

I may occasionally forget you...

I may be too busy to see updates..

I may be miles away...

I may never be able to see you in person...

I may not have been there from the start...

But this I know, I will ALWAYS be an ELF..

Because promises aren't made to be broken...

Because being an ELF is a promise...

Because ELF means EVERLASTING FRIENDS...

The love you and ELFs have for each other surpasses time and space.

Saranghae, Super Junior.

I prom15e... Super Junior is, and always will be, 15...

Teasers etc

Sexy, Free and Single: Donghae Teaser

Dear Super Junior,

I am writing this with very mixed feelings... I am so in love with your next album! This is the first time I'm anticipating your teasers (being a very young ELF of 9 months), and just learning what the TITLE was was enough to make me squeal. Your pictures, from Eunhyuk-ssi, to Donghae-ssi, to Leeteuk-ssi and Ryeowook-ssi, are very much breathtaking. I don't agree with what people say that Donghae-ssi's picture was edited to make him look more feminine... I think it's the angles and his good genes that made him look this way... My first look at his photo and my reaction was... "Eunhae? Did they just get married?!" The veil on Donghae-ssi is very... unique... ^-^;;;

So, about my sad feelings... It's because I have just seen the accounts/videos of the 2010 GDA. I must say, that was heartbreaking. I am proud to say that I am a fan of people who are good sports... People who can congratulate others even when their hearts are shred into a million pieces... People who have gained strength and determination from something that was meant to trip them up and utterly destroy their faith in themselves... People who carry themselves so as not to have others worry... 

Let's face the facts: Some people would walk out on injustice.. Some people would show their tears to the world, especially because they are right... Some people would think, since they didn't get anything after working so hard, why still work hard... Some people, after getting a massive bout of dizziness (like Yesung-ssi), would prefer to sit everything out, because they are afraid that they will fall once they stand...

Super Junior, you have my utmost respect. I can only hope to have half the courage, passion, strength, and grace you have... You have stood strong for 6 years now, faced controversies, pulled through accidents, and gotten back on your feet, even soaring above your previous height...

Even though people tell me you are only a phase... That my love will falter... That you are getting complacent... That you aren't as hard working as before... That you will not last much longer... That you are autotuned... That you can't sing well... 

ELF WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU. I will always be here for you... I don't care that by the time I am able to show my support, go to Korea, and have a glimpse of your faces, you will be old, retired from idol work, and married... I am loyal to those I love, and you, Super Junior, are people I admire, respect, and love...

I love you in the way fans do... Unconditionally... I think that if ever I was born lucky enough to get to know one of you, even if you aren't Super Junior, I would admire you... The strength of your hearts is not something found in a lot of people.. It takes a lot of guts to have done what you did, and to rise up from them... 

"In order to rise
From its own ashes
A phoenix
First
Must
Burn."

Octavia E. Butler

Love always and forever,  Hangsang hamkke halgeora till the end of time,

This psychology loving, emotional, justice-loving, baby ELF..

Happy Birthday, Kim Ryeowook!

Kim Ryeowook

Dear Ryeowook-ssi,

Saengil chukahamnida! Happy birthday! Sheng Re Kuai Le! :)

I didn't realize it was your birthday already, since we have an hour difference... >.<

Thank you for being born into this world. ELFs thank your parents for having you. You are one of the reasons why I can get through every day. Your beautiful voice is one of the things I look forward to hearing all day. It is one of the few things that can calm me down when I am on the verge of breaking down... Although you will never read this, I thank you from the bottom my heart (or amygdala, the center of emotions)... 

I am actually a very quiet person. I talk loud in the hopes of convincing myself otherwise. I don't think people notice that, but you are one reason to hope. You are able to convey yourself through singing, even though you are very quiet... Maybe someday I will find the courage to express myself; someday, maybe I can find the one talent that will help me to do so. 

Your piano skills are simply magical. It is no wonder at all why you are a global star. No wonder why a lot of people are fans of yours. No wonder why people envy you. I hope you never stop playing, because talents like yours are hard to find...

You, your wonderful personality, always so sweet and caring... The person who you spend the rest of your life with would be very lucky... 

An odd closing, Love always,

This sleepy, tired, still-have-school-tomorrow fan...

Dear Suju -9

Eunhae

Dear Super Junior,

We went to garage sales this weekend... I saw a Nemo plushie and a monkey plushie, but the Nemo plushie was still for $5... X.x I'm not yet working, so I can't afford that... ='( And I think I'd rather buy a new one...^-^

Waaaaaaaah. You're in LA... (were? Have you left by now?) and I'm in Chicago... 36 hours away by car, according to my cousin who LIVES in LA... ='( Ugh! I'm so depressed... NOT! Well, I can't let go of this unnameable feeling because I missed out on another of your performances, though I'm sure it's not depression.. I'm just.. wistful... *sigh*

Oh~! I saw you went to Disneyland... So envious.. I went there with my family about 9 years ago... How I wish I came now so I could've seen you... Huhuhu... XD

I borrowed a lot more books, and my aunt borrowed DVDs from the library... By the way, you should watch "The Ramen Girl" and "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan." The second is very much about sisterhood, and I think you'll be able to relate with your brotherhood.. ^-^

The reason I only updated now... We went to an outlet mall and other malls, aka busy shopping (though personally I get bored shopping and end up listening to your music via iPod only)... then yesterday my computer refused to connect to the internet... In my panic this morning, in my desperate prayer, somehow the connection pulled through... Yey! XD 

I'm supposed to review my lessons this summer so I can be prepared to go to the wards this upcoming school year, so I borrowed Microbiology books from the library too... But... I don't have a notebook!! X.x I usually have to take notes (it's become a habit) so I can't study otherwise...

Anyways, if you're still not in Korea, I hope you are able to fly safely home... ^-^

Love,

this wistful, almost depressed, desperate, supposedly studious fan